


Spud

by cognomen



Series: Cognomen's List of Things that Aren't Reptiles [3]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, The Last Jedi
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, M/M, intestinal distress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 10:51:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13569051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cognomen/pseuds/cognomen
Summary: February Ficlet Challenge Day 3; Pairing: Poe & Holdo. Prompt: Character A is a dog.The first time she sees the tracks (It has to be a dog, doesn’t it? Even out here in the middle of nowhere? She hasn’t heard any howling.) Holdo loses a bag of potatoes. She finds the shredded plastic in the chicken run, and tracks in the mud around the root cellar.Set in the 'Only a Paper Moon' verse.





	Spud

**Author's Note:**

> See 'Only a Paper Moon' series for clarification as to what's going on here. http://archiveofourown.org/series/541537

The first time she sees the tracks (It has to be a dog, doesn’t it? Even out here in the middle of nowhere? She hasn’t _heard_ any howling.) Holdo loses a bag of potatoes. She finds the shredded plastic in the chicken run, and tracks in the mud around the root cellar.

The door has been yanked open, and she frowns at it, supposing she’ll have to get a lock. She puts a bar through the handles when she closes it again, and checks that nothing else is missing. Not a single warning from any of her six good-for-nothing cats, but at least all her livestock is okay. When she reports it to the police, they don’t take her very seriously.

“You sure it wasn’t a neighbor’s pet?” the dispatcher asks, sounding tired. Holdo bets the coffee maker is broken.

“I don’t see how,” she says, trying to inject a little ceer into her tone. That old ‘a smile is catching’ bit. “I don’t have any neighbors.”

“I’ll file your report,” the operator says in a wrote tone. “If the animal comes back or you feel you’re in personal danger, please call again and we’ll send an officer up.”

-

“Why does she _do_ this to me,” Poe groans, with his head in Finn’s lap and his hands cradling his cramping belly.

“I don’t know, buddy,” Finn soothes. “Maybe she—you—just really like potatoes?”

“A wolf with a junk food addiction?” Poe whines, shifting and sweating in Finn’s lap while his guts try to process (and mostly to force out) the overabundance of potato.

Finn rubs his sides, soothing.

“Maybe,” he says, leaning down to kiss Poe’s forehead.

-

The next time she finds animal tracks, she takes pictures with her smartphone and posts them on the internet.

_Cougar._

_Did it take any chickens? Could be a bobcat._

_Big dog._

_Maybe a bear? Are there bears in the park? We get black bears here all the time, they break so many bird feeders._

No one guesses Wolf so Holdo keeps on thinking ‘dog’. Has to be. Only, she’d never seen a dog break into a root cellar for potatoes and not bother the chicken coop.

Holdo considers the predicament. She forms a plan.

-

“Finn,” Poe groans, from the bathroom floor. “You _have_ to stop me from doing this again.”

“I know, Poe,” Finn says, mopping Poe’s face with a towel after giving the toilet a sympathetic flush. “Maybe this will teach her—you—a lesson?”

Finn had seen Poe slump her way home, belly bulging and eyes glassy with the evidence of her stealing ways. Full of regret. “I mean where does she even keep _finding_ all these potatoes?”

-

Holdo stops seeing the tracks after the third time. She feels only a little sorry, but she’s glad she didn’t have to resort to chasing the dog away with a tin can full of pennies like the videos about hazing coyotes she’d seen on the internet.

And all it had taken was the price of a fifty pound sack of potatoes.


End file.
